Cricket ...yet again

6 balls ...6 sixes , Yuvraj Singh rocked ...and i kept wondering what dhoni was upto( for the uninformed , he is from the same school as me) , seems he is the captain now, way to go...So what do youvraj's sixes' do to mere mortals like us..cant talk for everyone but on a personal note , it makes me believe in the Indian team yet again , it makes me hope against hope that India will win the next world cup and it sets me up for another big disappointment..simply cant help it ..I tried ignoring the indian cricket team as much as I cud, did not even react to India beating pakistan some time back ,kept my pessimism at a all time high but man..those sixes were awesome , not fluke shots but real cricket..Guess games are almost like life, you go down in life and realise it is worthless , get disappointed , and then one good thing sets you back in motion ..Another important reason of me getting sneak views of the cricket matches on the internet is definately the lack of interest in the American sports, namely baseball and college football...have tried building some enthusiasm for the same but just cant get over the cricket hangover, another reason this world wont ever be flat, there wud always be cricket and there wud always be baseball and each party will not understand the craziness about either..Now basketball seems to be the middle ground here, its big in US and not that small in India even though for basket ball team is not that great, every school shows some enthusiasm for the game ..I loved basketball when i was a kid and am sure lot of other guys do...The sports edition seems to be strecting on and on , and i havent even come to table tennis, even though i was never a game when it came to losing a match , i was always game to miss classes or bunk work and play..which reminds me of a beautiful ad they have for fisher price here...which basically is all about how kids should grow and play..simultaneously , now they have toys for kids every age and for the grown up kids , Microsoft x box outplayed them ...cant seem to make sense to even myself so guess i am actually getting to myself ..before i forget , I am catching up on the American TV big time ,even though most of the shows were aired in India , I cudnt really follow cause of the other big saas bahu attractions going on all the time , and guess this is one thing i am glad i got out of, it was almost a addiction to see who is crying for whom , who married for the 5th time and how u wont age even when u grandkids have kids and how a woman has to be a vamp or a goddess , no Grey females allowed in the Indian television scenario...here the serials are a lot more real and i just love the females, they don't cry or anyone and just move on in style..I appreciate the sense of humor prevalent in this country ,life moves much faster here ..maybe it is cause of the better cars( now that was the worst PJ ) in the last several months, cant seem to find good company for them anymore- God i miss my sister and the office(pj center)...

Moods and moments....

Moodiness is a vice most of us are inflicted with , some more than the other ...and I guess I fall in the first category...I just dont understand what controls my mood swings, one day i can all happy and the next just debating my entire existence in this world and what all it is worth...and the problem is I am not sure what triggers either of these moods..looking for the obvious reasons, disappointments at work , fight with ur partner , disagreements with ur friends or parents ...i weeded out the reasons one by one and finally was as clueless as ever..i mean these are of course contributing factors and might be the reasons sometimes but I have actually some across instances where none of them were true...by the theory of elimination what i arrived at finally was a blank and its this lack of reason that is difficult to handle....today was one of those days when i was feeling that moodiness ..and somewhere the TV or music or whatever generally keeps me entertained was not enough...to drive that way..one of the first things that happens in this frame of mind is the need or the desire to sleep ..and i did that for quite some time - it could be ur body's way of telling u , you need some rest or maybe its my mind's trick to fool me into thinking i need to sleep when i might just want to...guess this is not going any where...maybe another day another time ...

Deals ...deals and more deals....

US is a land of deals... this is one of the first addictions you get into when you are here....Right from the paper napkins to the latest LCD television is on some deal...the murphy's law here is, what you really need to buy at some instant is never on a deal and the moment you buy it, viola the deals appear...This is when you feel your economic ineptness... this creates the psyche to get to a deal as soon as possible ...and this is when you are lost...buying stuff you do not need cause it is on a deal on the assumption that u would need it in future...thats the whole idea the company has and you buy the idea..so basically you end up spending money which was looking great in the bank , you are even euphoric about it....somewhere down the line , you realize you have bought something you definitely did not need and of course your poor economics once more...This whole intelligent thinking later definitely takes a lot of your spare time , and you decide ...its over , you wont get into the trap ever again ...but the conspiring companies are a way ahead....they come up with the thanksgiving sale;-) , and of course all ur hard hitting thoughts are left way behind as you prepare yourself for more shopping...
On second thots why do the companys come up with deals...If it is such a great product and is selling and making profits, why are the costs lowered...the answer is simple...to make you buy what you do not need...and make more profits....from their leftover inventory....the cost of carrying a inventory is far more than the cost cutting they do..
So here they are advertising profiting making money and we .....just the sacrificial lambs;-((

Trip to Newyork

New York...the place almost everyone has heard of ....and a lot have seen ...the financial headquarters of the entire world...the other day, out of the blue we planned to visit the great city, now i have been there pretty often but that hadnt actually seen much of it....the first thing that strikes u about this place is the energy there, and the positive kind of it...in a country like US when you are not used to seeing many people on the road , walking new york is a welcome change...its like our very own mumbai....the subways and the paths...and lots of people walking at unbelievable pace, the city is always moving ....almost everyone is in a hurry t o reach somewhere...trade shares...shape the economy of the world...i mean if u are caught in the trains during the rush hours....u wont even get a place to sit down...u keep standing on the train and there are even people who wud push and move right across...the personal space thats so guarded here is let loose completely..you cant dream of it...and thats not where the similarity ends...you wud find a lot of roadside eateries serving all kinds of cuisines...now this is the place to be if u r a foodie....talk about any cuisine in the world and you cant beat newyork in the variety and the sheer number of places...I havent seen a place more diverse...i mean you get on a train and you wud see people from all corners of the world...every place u can think of.....and everyone has a identity here....new yorker is a different identity in itself.....a walk down the times square , first time in ur life...is a experience in itself...i mean you see everything u have heard of and cudnt quite understand the novelty of...you have madame tussaud and Ripley's believe it or not ...and the one thing i found quite fascinating...NASDAQ ..now just have many times do u hear about it...i had almost every time i watched news on TV.....and the lights there are nearly blinding ...there is glitter everywhere and its the same everyday in the year...its like the life thats inherent in the place....before just walking across the time square, you can go and take a ferry ride, which takes you all across the hudson , thru all the islands in NY..four of them to be precise.......its a experience to see all the great buildings in the universe...even the place where the twin towers stood and are no longer there...there are lovely bridges across the river...that looks like the ones you see in the picture books....as u stand on the deck with the wind across your hair....and see ...the empire state building from afar...its like it is definitely the empire state......Money makes this place thrive and the hard work that goes behind it is also evident...how often do u see people getting to office at 7 in the morning and coming back at 3 - 4 in the night...for new york it is just routine ...the ferry that takes u across , gets close to the Statue of Liberty as well..and thats when u realize the core element of this society....I mean if u see just the architecture of the statue, there are 100 more beautiful places in the world ..i mean every country has some of them...but not many countries build something that goes beyond the symbolism of the race ...thats for mankind as a whole...that thinks about the whole human race ...i mean the idea behind it is great , thats what makes it worth...i mean it isn't something that cant be built......it is something that has character and character is tougher to embody than a mere piece of art or architecture...so thats new york as i see it ...on a very selfish note, thats one place i can see people and coming from a densely populated country ..it comforts me to see ...them ...it feels a lot closer to home ...and a lot like it sometimes...and it doesnt have the walmarts;-)) , atleast not one i have scene , which gives it a identity which i always missed in us cities......as i wud have said it in the advertisement world way...It is different...

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.

Am on it yet again and it feels good to connect , to people you know , people you dont know ...i mean how much better can it get when you can get inside the minds ...and debate if you think a particular thought , did someone else somwhhere in the world think of it too ...before you , are even your most obscure thoughts your own , or have you shared that with someone as well , someone you dont even know ...but still someone who thinks exactly like you .... and is lost somewhere in the big world ....When you read the blogs, you get to see the individual , much beyond what is on dispaly otherwise , its the core that talks ...and the surface that hides and that is what makes me want to read , to feel... coming back to the discussion i had on the couple of earlier blogs about the US cities , and the comments one of my friends made on that ... .I agree with him ...This is definitely the place where people come above everything , you can feel it in every single experience you have over here ... .. and I stay in NewPort , just across hudson , so if you walk a mile along the river walkway you can reach the statue of Liberty;-) and believe me, every single time you see it , it feels like a experience ...I was talking about the respect for people and it is just so evident ..You make a mistake on the road , and the cop behind you would say ...excuse me sir..please pull over ..and not for a moment , wud he be rude to you , I mean it is just inherent in this place ... .I have experienced it so many times , and every single time it amazes me ... i mean i try crossing a road on a red light , and all cars stop and wave . ...like please go ...no horns nothing .... I bought a mixer grinder ,and after a month it stopped working, i was almost sure it was my mistake , i hadnt followed a lot of instructions , and then have already thrown teh cartons and stuff , and had ordered it online ...Now i just walk into one of the retail outlets , with the grinder literally in hand ,and say it is not working ..and salesperson doesnt ask any questions , and is ready to replace with a new one is a matter of seconds ...i cant imagine this , i mean its tough to get used to it coming from India ..where once you buy something, you are almost married to it for better or worse ;-) whatelse , had a long trip across the hudson on a ferry which shows you the whole of new york ... needs one whole blog to describe the experience ... till then ......

Family is ...

Maa and Papa , who you can fight with , disagree with , live with , cannot live with at times ..cant understand sometimes and then all of a sudden understand ... but they are there when you really need them , irrespective of every other thing in the world ... It is really crazy but there have been times when I have felt like the whole world is conspiring against me to make me unhappy ..and the first thing that happens to me is a call , from Maa ... I mean i cant understand how she knows when i need her the most ..even if we talk about the most mundane things in life ... Imagine, she asks me every time I call , if i make breakfast for K2 i the morning as she knew I always used to sleep late and she knows he goes to work early , and she shud know if we stuck the balance right ...i mean the feminist in me would rebel sometimes , would she ever as k2 if he made breakfast for me if i was going to office early ..NO ...Family is papa , the one person who never sees a wrong in u, even if the whole world believes you are ... ethe one person who would take out money from his retirement fund to see u go where u want to ... in life ... ..Family is the bada bhai , which i believe every girl shud have , who wud fight for u , when u r fighting with him , just cause he knows life isnt about having a love affair when u r in the 8th standard .. even when he knows u wud hate him for that ...atleast till the time u r over that affair and on a new one;-) ... Family is how you can constantly disagree with objectives in life and still cry when ur brother holds u and asks u what do u want ... and says he is there ....Family is having a coolest guy in the universe as u r younger brother , with whom u can share the greys of life without being judged .. family is the same brother u are mad on when he doesnt call for days ...family is yet again the same person who wud be up all night on the train when he is travelling with u ..and checking every few minutes if the kambal is still on u , lest u feel cold in the cruel Delhi november .... Famliy is the sister ,you have fought with all ur life , on every single thing right from food to TV serials .. to getting married or not getting married at the time u think is right ... and when she does get married , feeling that sense of loss ...and the sense of achievement as well when she has had a baby ...you know ...becoming a Maasi .. thats like Mom for the uninformed without making much efforts ...Family is when u get to God and pray for them whereever they are ... and family is what scares u ..cause u cant see them unhappy and realise the world around is not perfect ....Family is the little sister u have , who can be a pest all u r life and still the one person in the world , u wud never doubt .... the one person who makes u feel like the bollywood hero , when she is hurt , cause u cant just wait to go out and trash the person who makes her unhappy ...in style ... family is when u can sit and talk and bitch about the entire world including family;-)) with her and still know u all are in it together .... Family is the friends u get by chance , who wud never send u a friendship day card and let u know they are there but never the less they are ... and thats abot it .as ..simple as that .... last but not the least ...family is that one guy you marry , in this whole big bad world , u can trust to be with u ..all ur life ...who u want to be with all ur life, who u can think of being with , when u leave u r family behind .....One person who can gets into any role , when u need , being a mother when u r sick ....being a brother when u r hurt ..being a sister ... when u need to just discuss the world around ... and being just himself ... for u ....In this day and age of ultra nuclear families , meaning just one kid motto ....i hate to feel what the kid wud miss one day ... having some real people ... Cant help getting sentimental today ...guess rakhi around the corner was a trigger ... guess i missed the extended family - in laws ;-)) but that would take the whole page by itself ..with the kind of reputation , they seem to have all over the world irrespective of cultures .... but i guess i need more time to comment on mine, for me ...... its been 3 days of sheer bliss with them as yet .. .think everyone shud grow up with a huge family , know it is not that great in the beginning when u r a kid and need to constantly share stuff u cud have on ur own ... i mean believe me there was a time when i used to be actually embarrassed about telling people we are a family of 7 ... it sounded huge .. but now it makes me thankful.. i mean it might sound weird but i have played games with my mind ...thinking of all the permutations and combinations , what if we were 4 ..or 3 or 2 ....rather than 5 ...who wud i have and who wud i leave ...( taking for granted i am not the one who wud be left;-)) and every single time, i have realized it takes all of us to make it whole , it just cudnt work any other way .... and i guess thats family ....

Last name ? Should you let go ...

One of the first changes in life when u get married is , is the change in your name ...and when you think of it , i would say it is the most important ... and something that u realise right on the face .. .every single day ...I mean I cant ever forget an incident ... when i had a appointment in Pune , and was waiting ... and the receptionist called Mrs Kumar, cause my last name had changed ...and she called again ..i was sitting right there in front of her and my mind just wudnt register ..who she was calling ..and she kinda knew it was me ...so was looking right at me ... and this was the beginning ...when you start gaining a new identity ..and maybe losing what u were all ur life ... and it takes it time ...Now I can debate on why the women change the name and the men dont ...but this is one feminist discussion that strikes u once in a while ... well , there is a opportunity in here for the females as well ...say for some weird reason , i never liked my surname , i have a perfectly acceptable reason to have a new one ...u have a choice suddenly ...to be what u were , or turn to be someone else ...men dont have this luxury ..u r stuck with one identity all ur life ...wherein i get to to change ..for better or worse ... if i want to ;-) ....If you see it is a big thing ..to be able to have a choice second time in life ... you grow into being urself and now you have a conscious choice ...to be what u wud want ....generally marriage involves moving as well ..so the change can be complete , u have people around u ..who dont even know u , so u can kinda be complete makeover ... name and attitude and everything .. guess enuf for the day..or maybe just this time ...will get back ...

My official birthday today....

Everyone who knows me probably knows I am a Piscean , a proud one at that ....but for some weird reasons , when my dad enrolled me in school , the official birthday was 13th august ...Personally I havent been able to figure out , the good or the bad it has done me , or maybe it just has had no effect ...i believe the most logical reason cud be the lack of a birth certificate when I was born ..the second reason cud be , they just wanted to save me a year - in case i wanted to appear for IAS exams 22 years down the line , now this might sound funny or even far fetched , but believe me , if you are from one particular state in India , namely Bihar (now jharkhand) this would be the most plausible explanation ...cause almost everyone I know has a different birthday on records ...and the lack of birth certificate would not suffice to all cases ...Enuf of a non story ..guess it is time to get to the story of the day ... I wud say it definately is the Paint job ( not the one on my face;-) - , we have a appointment to get the apartment painted ...and i have already called them like 3 times , and they shud be here any moment now .. Now things work differently in US ..I mean there is a appointment for everything damn thing and no human contact so to say ...back in ranchi , if we need a place painted..we call up the guys ..rather ask someone to ask them to come see us ( talk about good old days ) - discuss the color , hoggle about the rates ...and finally end up with something we never expected , things are different over here ...you call u r management office ...they call the painters ...they give the color , specifications and u know they will come over some day and paint..color wud be white ...
so the paint job is underway .and these guys are professionals , to the extremes ...and i kinds like that .i might end up liking US , something that actually scares me ..cause i want to get back to india ..i just feel we r not meant to be here ...and life is fuller in india ...and i say fuller cause ...whatever u do, emptiness creeps up in the us of a ... ..every single thing is routine and u get so used to it that u stop living, and just

why wud u blog at 5 am in the morning ...

I guess the only logical reason is cause u cant sleep , for whatso ever reason in the world ..and not sleeping makes u cranky and ofcourse much more critical of the world around..including urself...
Anyways , as I already mentioned , I cant seem to sleeep today, however hard i have tried and i tried getting into more useful things than blogging , like studying - didnt work for more than 5 min ... even tried watching TV and i used to think things cannot get worse than Indian television and serials , but wait till u watch american television ...there is always someone advertising something fatfree or low calories or some crap weight loss program ... the whole nation is obsessed with weight , cause they dont have much else to worry about ..i mean really , i just cant feel people thinking over here , which i know is a misconception , u cant have the biggest economy in the world without a few sensible people ...and i am amazed as how few and far between u find them ... Anyways, its time for me to say something good about this place , i mean i have been cribbing for so long that i almost hate myself for it now ... The best thing abot this country is that it is predictable , and its the worst thing as welll ..I mean every single place in the US Is the same ...it wud have its walmart , and target and staples and home depot ...so it hardly matters where u r ... i mean the roads are teh same ,the streets are named the same .. i mean talk about not having enuf names , i just think these guys dont ..

Now getting down to more personal levels ,life seems to be settled in the US of A , Newport ( thats the place where I stay) seems to be a miniature version of Asia ... you see either Indians or chinki;s . I cant judge if they are chinese or japanese ..or koreans ...chinki conveys the message right .... so u are in US but dont get the feeling , cause there are no genuine americans around ...at all ... it seems like this place is almost captured by the desis and the chinks .... and beleive me ..New jersey is not the place if you want to see anything thats american ..not that I mind ..just cant figure out why we are here or anywhere else , i mean i cud life as comfortably back in india ...but the time for such debates in gone long by .. I guess not working and sitting at home is not agreeing with me ...

woke up from a strange dream yesterday , was in a strange apmt and the person was not strange , but just cudnt place him when i woke up .,...and i dont remember anything else to give me a reason to mention this here ....got my first credit card in the US , have yet to buy something on my own card but i guess, it does make life easy and u more confident of venturing out on ur own ...

I called up a lot of people today who i generally wudnt ..but i guess this is what america does to u ..it instills a certain amount of loneliness that is dificult to understand and get rid of .. it makes u disown u r country of birth and stops u from being a american leaving u somewhere in between ... and every single person i see on the road . seems to have this loneliness in thier eyes, most wudnt even accept it ..they want to stay here and think this is the best plac ein the universse but it is still definately there somewhere ....it makes u hate what ur country lacks and it makes u want to go back ... in a nutshell , it makes u confused and not sure of what u want in life ...........

enuf ...whatelse is good in life, well there is a river right next to the apmtmnt i stay in and across the river , u can see the financial hub of this world, new york city which is enuf to give u a high sometime .... and that is definately nice, when u stay on the 21st floor..look at the river and the city across it ...it has a tendency to make u more philosophical ...and thats what i m getting into .and as everyone who knows me wud swear by , this is the time to quit ..and whats what i wud do..it almost 6 and time i got some sleep ... now this again is psychological ....getting some sleep is required ........

will l get back sooner than u wud believe ....

And the fight today was..

Guess the title of this blog sounds a bit sadistic but when i think about it ...been married for a while now, 2 months and 17 days to be precise and and there hardly passes a day when there is no argument, and they are definitely not the kinds that cannot be avoided...I mean sometimes i marvel at the fact , just how many times you can fight on the same subject ....some research on this might help ..not that this is the kind of research i want to get into ...

neways, yesterday was a no fight day, reason being k2's birthday and i had made a deal with myself not to fight , not that didn't have my moments but i battled them successfully , just not with him ...

So now to the last fight details....as always I mentioned, how some people were misunderstood and not necessarily as bad as they were portrayed to be , and k2 rejected the the theory with the same sentence as ever, how there is no smoke without fire ..and if people are not supposed to be nice , they might not be ...now i hate this argument , maybe cause it always seems like a personal attack even if it begins as a generic argument..neways enuf for today, k2 is up and a new fight is underway...he wants the laptop as soon as he is up and i was in the middle of this....but i guess i have to end now cause i cant write with someone standing on my head.....

Timepass

Ever wondered , how you feel l ike not working the exact day you have loads of work to take care of .... or how you think abot someone one fine day and the same day the person calls after a long long time ... or how you get up low one fine day ..and the second r just brimming with optimism ...how someone touches you at the first instant and how you cant just seem to stand some people ..there are so many theories attributed to all these seemingly strange behaviors ...past births , body clock , emotional cycles , hormones , whatever it is ,is it something science wud be able to solve some day and make our lives so predictable that we end up behaving exactly as we r supposed to ...

Today was a weird day , life staring back and telling u , there is nothing u can hold for sure , nothing u can trust to b there 2morrow ... spoke to a real old friend , and she is fighting the battle of life , cudnt just beleive it ...almost a head on collision with a truck ...Thank God , she is fine and recovering day by day ...
Whatelse did i do ...nothin i wud say , guess today wasnt a gud day ...there are things i dont like about this world and cant help at all .....and that kinda gets me mad ..

am not going to think abot any of this and concentrate on the task in hand and do just taht ...