Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Timing Errors ....

Been a while since I was here in this free way of words .. .no xcuses just didnt have the kind of free spirit i need to write .. neways all of a sudden i started wondering about the timing errors in life ..and if its only me or its the way things happen with everyone .. i mean i never have complaints from what life gave me rather i thank god for it every day .. that i have what i wanted in life..well not every small element but yeah broadly ... i m close .. .but there has always been some sort of a timing error with what i got ...i mean it is never ... " if "rather " when " which dictates my life ..right from school to college to being in love.. to jobs ..to being married ...it just happened on its own pace ..i cud never sort out a plan ...not even now ...i think of something and it almost seems like some one else have a time line for it ..to the extent that i m left wondering if it was my plan originally ...now if i was a true believer of hindi movies , it wud have understood this with one word...waqt ..there is a very popular saying in hindi ...waqt se pahle aur kismat se jyada kisi ko khuch nahi milta hai ...now i am pretty comfortable with kismat part of the deal ..its the waqt that bugs me ...i mean ..when i wanted to move to pune ...way way back after school , it didnt happen ...and i went to benaras .. and finally when i did make it to pune ..i missed benaras ..now it wasnt fair ...i mean i did stay in both the cities but not when i really really wanted to ...this might seem like a silly example but thats kind of happened with the bigger things in life as well ...when i wanted a job i did nt have one..when i was really working hard for it ... when i thot i wasnt getting anywhere and quit making any efforts ..there it was right in front of me ... i mean is it not likely that this wud confuse a normal human being without doubt ... this didnt stop here .. i even liked a guy once in my life and he wudnt like me back at least not when i really really wanted it .. and the moment i thot i was over it ...he was back ... doesnt it all seem like a scheme ..something i cant really control .. i mean just leaves me wondering if i wud ever be able take complete control of what happens around me ....when i think really hard, guess this wont be fun as well ..i mean it keeps the curiosity alive in life, all u can do is get to a point and then wait and watch , its not many matches when u get to be the player and the spectator as well at the same time .. .and guess this is what keeps this interesting ... whatelse ...life is moving on ..at its own pace and i am trying to keep track of it with a new watch;-) , cudnt quite explain this philosophy of why i needed a new watch to my better(or worse) half but managed to get it any which way ...i know its not the best thing to manipulate but think of it , if its for something as important as keeping track of time , it is worth the vice;-)) ... from timing errors in life to time keepers ...seems i need to keep track of the randomness of my mind too ..but that wud be another day ..another time ...